Chapter One, Page 9

This week’s topic: movies/screenplays. Last week, I watched Born Yesterday, the movie written by Garson Kanin. (I’ll write more of him in another blog because he’s one of my ideal writers.) If you have not seen Born Yesterday, then you are denying yourself a wonderful treat. It’s also a mini-civics lesson and informative as to Washington D.C. back then…and how politics really works. The movie was made in 1950s and it’s in black and white. Can you believe that there are some people who refuse to watch any black and white movie? What a waste! Garson Kanin wrote every line of dialogue to near perfection. I watched the movie with the eldest high school daughter and told her that it’s not just my favorite but a lot of people as well. She laughed her tush off and was intrigued with some of the colorful old sayings that were common back then. The cast in the movie was wonderful, which included William Holden a fantastic actor in every way imaginable, Broderick Crawford, who plays the ignorant brute to perfection, and then there’s Judy Holliday. She won the Academy Award for her role as Billie Dawn. She is sincere in the role and her dimples were a supporting character in their own right. She can deliver one word or sound in so many different ways that she’s such a joy to watch. I get a similar feeling of actors having the best role of their life also while I watch the BBC Sherlock Holmes version with the brilliant Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes. Jeremy Brett also can say everything with just a single word or glance. When I watch wonderful performances with witty dialogue, to me, it’s as if the angels are singing. Of note, I am curious to see how Robert Downey, Jr., handles the Holmes role; but I’m guessing he’ll be great, too. (But don’t take my word for it, watch him in Tropic Thunder, Iron Man and/or Restoration—not his typical role, but moving all the same.) This week’s tip: Screenwriters! Watch old Academy Award movies—there’s a reason those films, writers or actors won. Never give up on your screenplay; keep at it.. As we all know, Hollywood is famous for stomping all over promising scripts; but when the plot is believable and original and the dialogue is full of truth, it would be a crime for anyone in Hollywood to mess around with your script. Unfortunately, there are too many crappy movies out there, so be responsible to yourself, the writing profession, as well as us folks who live for that good movie that makes us forget our daily cares for a few hours.

…my best friend of nearly twenty years treating me like a ‘nobody’ and never telling me the reason why? (For first-time viewers, please jump to Chapter One, Page One.)

Let’s see. She repeatedly chewed me out regarding last year’s ‘Gays’ catastrophe; so she must be pissed about something else I supposedly did, said or thought. Stella’s other “I’ll never write to you…ever again” letter arrived a week after last Memorial Day, which gave me the impression there was some connection to the military that ticked her off. My foolish mouth may be big enough to store combat boots, but I’m not that stupid to speak ill of the Armed Forces, considering my father died while stationed in Germany. I’ll even swear on my dead mother’s Bible that I never made a derogatory comment about Japanese women, like Stella, who married military men only to obtain American citizenship.

I’ve spent hours studying this letter for clues to deduce what horrible crime I committed that I deserved to be abandoned by the only woman who I stupidly thought understood me.

Stella! If you don’t tell me, then how am I supposed to guess…I mean, improve the situation?

Oh my dearest, Monty! Today, my body aches for you. Venus wanting to go down on Mars or some suck gibberish.

Can you believe that me, Monty’s Number One fan, is not up to date regarding your current events? Is your latest flame another amazingly gorgeous but boring (illegible scribble)? How I envy the bitch!

Or are you still flying solo and scouring the world in your endless pursuit of firm young flesh. How’s that race going of Monty Davis never having a love affair that’s lasted longer than six months?

HOWEVER! If I do find out you were alone on your favorite day of the year, tears of desolation may send Yours Truly into catatonia land, especially since I’m without a date for Cupid’s prom.

Dang! She’s ruthless!

Did “without a date for Cupid’s prom” mean Stella is finally free of her abusive husband? For nearly twenty years, I’ve waited for her to divorce that creep. So if she’s no longer with the brute then why is she acting like she’s part of the witness protection program? She knows my wealth can get her out of any kind of sticky jam. But I can’t help her if she won’t tell me her location.

Oh Monty! I despise myself for perpetuating the silent-letter treatment, but I have to preserve what sanity remains.

Which contradicts with the following crazy sentences.

Since I have no more pride, you need to know that her Highness, Mistress Stella Lee, has forsaken the good fight. My castle is overrun with futility. The Queen has been ensnared, and her free continues under the magic spell.

My dearest love! Why couldn’t our souls connect long ago when we naïvely assumed poverty meant a lack of money?

If we had met sooner, would our lies be any different?

That last sentence still gives me the creeps. She probably meant to write “lives” instead of “lies.”

I didn’t hear the bathroom door open, but the yellow paper rustled from a slight breeze. Through the brown opaque glass, I saw the shadow of a blurry dark figure.

Well, well, well.

Ms. Supermodel has finally returned to her crappy condo because woman’s intuition alerted her that she’s about to be cruelly dumped!

They say change is good for you.

For everyone else, but not for me.